Cue the Evil Villains Masquerading as Life Coaches!
I’m in so deep with this coaching world that at times I forget what it’s like to be outside of it.
I had a powerful encounter this week where I was confronted with a person who believed that coaches thought that they were better than other people. And this person also believed that coaches believe they can fix people (and accordingly see other people as broken).
And I just wanted to cry.
And I saw what it might look like for someone who had no sense of trust that coaches had good intentions. It was not pretty.
I wanted to cry for this person who was so stuck in their story that they neatly slotted an offer of support into a narrative that kept them isolated. And I wanted to shake them for coming up with what feel like whale-sized tales that have nothing to do with the reality of the community that I live and work in.
The coaches that I know are people that have gone through extraordinary pain and want to offer the treasure their suffering has wrought, so other people can take the fast track and move quickly through the world with ease and grace. They are not pain free. They are not problem free.
The coaches that I know help people examine their truth and find their own answers so they can generate a life that serves them, not adopt someone elses’ formulaic approach that quickly chafes. They have seen as many variations of truths emerge as they have clients in their practice.
So let’s turn this into gold for you.
Getting distance from your own story is critically important. I suggest you take this counsel literally and write down a situation where you are having difficulty getting clear on what you should do or a space where you are having a lot of self-judgment. Literally write the tale.
(Your name) is (state the sitch). (Identify the situation that is challenging). (State what you’ve tried to alleviate the challenge).
Consider other potential remedies for the situation. Why would a benevolent author write the character into this tale? What would they learn from it? How could the lead become a stronger person as a result? What qualities could they maximize as a result of the experience?
Now claim the story. What qualities would you like to cultivate as a result of your challenge? When you look at the larger story arc meaning can you make of this tale?
You can always choose to go in a different direction. But you need to know where you are at and see the power of your story.
Keep choosing hope, faith + clarity starhearts. I love you,
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